The Vision Setting Guide
A comprehensive system for excavating your authentic self and crafting a compass for what comes next
This is one of those deliciously human moments in life. Standing in the middle of the map thinking, "Wait. Who exactly is driving this bus?"
Not a crisis. Not a failure. This is a neurological renovation.
Identity melts a little when old roles expire. Parent, worker, caretaker, achiever. The costumes fall off and suddenly it is just a person staring at the sky going, "So... now what?"
Which is honestly the perfect time to write a vision statement. Blank canvas beats cramped canvas every time.
How to Use This Guide
Below is a giant toolbox of questions. Think of them like flashlights. Not every beam will matter. Some will light up hidden rooms.
You do not need to use all of them. Sprinkle. Wander. Follow energy.
The questions are grouped loosely by theme so you can mix and match depending on your mood, your season, or what feels most alive right now.
The Question Toolbox
Choose the categories that call to you. Sit with the questions that create a little spark. Skip the ones that feel flat.
Identity Excavation Questions
These questions help you strip away the roles and discover who you are underneath all the doing.
- When in your life have you felt most like yourself?
- When did you feel least like yourself?
- If all your job titles disappeared tomorrow, how would you describe who you are?
- What qualities have followed you through every season of your life?
- What do people consistently come to you for help with?
- What do you secretly feel proud of that no one notices?
- What parts of yourself did you shrink to fit other people?
- What parts of yourself are still waiting for permission?
- If you were not trying to be "useful," who would you be?
- What would you do differently if you trusted yourself completely?
- What version of you have you been hiding?
Memory Mining Questions
Your past holds clues. These questions help you find the patterns of what lights you up.
- Think of three moments in your life that felt alive or electric. What were you doing?
- What did you love before the world told you to be practical?
- What did you enjoy as a child that you stopped for no good reason?
- When have you laughed so hard you cried?
- When did time disappear because you were so absorbed?
- If your life had chapters, which chapter felt most "true"?
- What hobbies or interests have you abandoned that you miss?
- When did you feel most creative or free?
- What experiences do you return to in your mind when you need comfort?
Values and Meaning Questions
What matters to you now? Not what should matter. What actually does.
- What feels non-negotiable at this stage of your life?
- What makes you angry in the world, in a protective way?
- What makes you tear up, in a good way?
- What problems do you wish someone would fix?
- If you could only be remembered for three traits, what would they be?
- What feels like a waste of your precious time now?
- What matters more to you now than it did ten years ago?
- What causes or communities pull at your heart?
- What injustice can you not ignore?
- What do you want to protect in this world?
Energy-Based Questions
Your body knows things your brain has not figured out yet. Listen to the energy.
- What activities leave you energized rather than drained?
- Who do you feel lighter around?
- Where do you feel heavier or smaller?
- What environments feel like oxygen?
- What environments feel like sandbags?
- What does your body say yes to before your brain talks you out of it?
- When do you feel most alive in your skin?
- What activities make you lose track of time?
- Who drains your battery just by being near you?
- What gives you energy even when you are tired?
Future Self Questions
Imagine looking back. What would make you proud? What would you regret?
- Picture yourself at 75 looking back. What would make you think "I did it right"?
- What would you regret not trying?
- What would you regret spending too much time on?
- What does a good Tuesday look like (not a fantasy vacation, just an ordinary day)?
- Who is sitting at your dinner table?
- What kind of problems are you solving?
- What do people thank you for?
- What are you learning just for fun?
- How do you spend your mornings?
- What makes you feel satisfied at the end of a day?
Permission Questions
What would you do if all the imaginary obstacles disappeared?
- If money were handled and fear was quiet, what would you try?
- If you could not fail, what would you attempt?
- If no one could judge you, what would you wear, say, create, or explore?
- What dreams did you label "too late" that might actually be "right on time"?
- What would you do if you trusted yourself completely?
- What permission are you waiting for that you could give yourself?
- What would you try if you knew you would be supported?
- What wild idea keeps whispering to you?
Role and Contribution Questions
How do you want to show up in the world? What mark do you want to leave?
- How do you want to impact other people's lives now?
- What kind of presence do you want to be in a room?
- Teacher, guide, artist, builder, healer, storyteller, connector. Which words feel warm?
- What do you want younger people to learn from you?
- What do you want your family to say you stood for?
- If you mentored someone exactly like you, what would you encourage them to pursue?
- What legacy feels meaningful to you?
- How do you want to be remembered by the people closest to you?
- What contribution would make you feel proud?
Environment and Lifestyle Questions
Where and how do you want to live your actual days?
- Where do you feel most at home?
- City buzz, quiet woods, small town coffee shop, near water... what calls to you?
- How much structure do you actually want?
- What does your ideal morning look like?
- How do you want your body to feel day to day?
- What pace of life feels humane rather than rushed?
- What does your perfect evening look like?
- How much alone time versus people time do you need?
- What kind of home environment helps you thrive?
Shadow and Truth Questions
These are the honest ones that crack things open. Handle with care and courage.
- Where are you living someone else's definition of success?
- What are you pretending to like?
- What have you outgrown but keep holding onto?
- What are you tolerating that quietly drains you?
- If you stopped performing for others, what would you stop doing tomorrow?
- What truth have you been avoiding because it might require change?
- What relationship patterns keep repeating?
- Where are you being dishonest with yourself?
- What are you afraid to admit you want?
- What would you change if you were braver?
Imagination and Play Questions
Let your imagination run. Play is where truth hides sometimes.
- If your life were a movie genre, what would you want next? Comedy, adventure, cozy indie film, reinvention story?
- If you were designing a character inspired by yourself, what would you amplify?
- What symbols represent the next version of you? Garden, open road, studio, mountain, classroom?
- If your life had a tagline, what would it say?
- What would your personal "mission patch" or crest include?
- If you could design your perfect day with no limitations, what would it include?
- What metaphor describes the life you want to live?
- If you were a book, what would your next chapter title be?
Shaping Your Answers into Vision
This is the fun part. The digging is archaeology. This part is sculpture.
You are taking a pile of beautiful, messy, human truths and shaping them into language that feels solid enough to stand on.
A vision statement is not a corporate slogan. It is more like a compass tattooed on the inside of the wrist. Short enough to remember. Honest enough to sting a little. True enough to feel like oxygen.
I am becoming someone who...
This moves you out of "Who am I supposed to be?" and into evolution. Becoming is gentle. It assumes growth, not perfection.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- Who are you growing into, not forcing yourself into?
- What qualities are emerging naturally now?
- What do you want more of in your personality?
- What do you want less of?
Examples:
- I am becoming someone who trusts myself
- I am becoming someone who speaks up sooner
- I am becoming someone who chooses peace over proving
- I am becoming someone who lives slower and deeper
- I am becoming someone who creates, not just consumes
Coaching Trick:
Start with verbs instead of labels. Not "confident person" but "someone who takes action even when nervous." Verbs are alive. Labels are cages.
I want my life to feel like...
This bypasses logic and goes straight to the nervous system. People often know the feeling long before they know the plan.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- What texture is your life? Soft, spacious, lively, grounded?
- What pace? Slow mornings, busy afternoons, seasonal rhythms?
- What emotions are common?
Sensory Language to Encourage:
- Warm, light, steady, adventurous, unhurried, meaningful
Full Examples:
- I want my life to feel calm, spacious, and intentional
- I want my life to feel creative and playful
- I want my life to feel useful and connected
- I want my life to feel like exhale, not survival
This line often becomes the emotional core of the whole vision.
The work I do now exists to...
Especially powerful because "work" often shifts from obligation to contribution at certain life stages.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- Who do you want your effort to help?
- What problem feels worth solving?
- What kind of impact feels satisfying?
Examples:
- The work I do now exists to make people feel less alone
- The work I do now exists to simplify complicated systems
- The work I do now exists to help others heal
- The work I do now exists to create beauty and meaning
This reframes work from paycheck to purpose. Huge psychological shift.
I choose to spend my time on...
Time is the real currency. This question quietly exposes values.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- What deserves your energy now?
- What no longer earns your time?
- If you only had ten good years left, what stays?
Examples:
- I choose to spend my time on relationships, health, and learning
- I choose to spend my time creating things I'm proud of
- I choose to spend my time outdoors and with people I love
- I choose to spend my time building, not worrying
The word "choose" is powerful. It restores agency.
I release...
This one is pure magic. Identity often gets clearer when we subtract. You can almost hear the chains clink.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- What roles are you ready to retire?
- What expectations are not yours?
- What guilt or old story are you carrying?
Examples:
- I release the need to please everyone
- I release old definitions of success
- I release relationships that shrink me
- I release shame about starting over
- I release the belief that it's too late
Sometimes this line is more emotional than all the others combined.
I protect...
This is about boundaries and sacred things. Many people reach a point where they decide "I'm done leaking energy everywhere."
Follow-Up Prompts:
- What feels precious now?
- What do you refuse to sacrifice anymore?
- What needs guarding?
Examples:
- I protect my health
- I protect my peace
- I protect my mornings
- I protect my creativity
- I protect my time with my family
It gives you permission to stop apologizing for boundaries.
I create...
Creation is deeply human and future-oriented. It shifts you from consuming life to shaping it.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- What do you want to bring into existence?
- What do you want to build, grow, or nurture?
Examples:
- I create spaces where people feel safe
- I create art, beauty, and connection
- I create opportunities for others
- I create systems that make life easier
- I create memories, not clutter
This line often reveals hidden dreams.
I stand for...
This is the backbone. Values with teeth.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- What would you defend even if it was inconvenient?
- What principles guide your decisions?
Examples:
- I stand for honesty and kindness
- I stand for mental health and dignity
- I stand for fairness
- I stand for curiosity and growth
- I stand for living fully, not safely
This is your internal constitution.
I want people to experience me as...
This explores legacy and presence, not achievement.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- When people leave a conversation with you, how do you want them to feel?
- What emotional footprint do you want to leave?
Single Words:
- Calm, encouraging, wise, warm, capable, authentic
Full Sentences:
- I want people to experience me as steady and trustworthy
- I want people to experience me as someone who truly listens
- I want people to experience me as energizing and hopeful
This often softens people. It touches the heart.
This next chapter is about...
Now we zoom out and name the season. Life is seasonal. Not every chapter has the same mission.
Follow-Up Prompts:
- Is this a building season, healing season, exploring season, simplifying season?
- What is this chapter NOT about?
Examples:
- This next chapter is about rediscovery
- This next chapter is about freedom
- This next chapter is about creativity
- This next chapter is about health and joy
- This next chapter is about choosing myself
Naming the season gives direction without rigidity.
Playful Exercises That Work Surprisingly Well
Brains get weirdly honest when you stop being "serious." Play lowers defenses. Truth sneaks out the side door.
Write Your Movie Trailer
"In a world where they finally stop apologizing..."
Narrate your next ten years like a dramatic preview. Music swelling. Voiceover. Slightly cheesy. It works.
"In a world where she thought it was too late, one person discovers that the best chapters are the ones you write when you stop asking permission..."
Design Your Future Day
Describe one completely ordinary, perfect Tuesday five years from now.
- Where do you wake up?
- What do you smell?
- Who texts you?
- What do you do at 10 am?
- How does the afternoon unfold?
- What makes you smile that day?
This grounds the vision in reality, not fantasy.
Write a Letter from Future You
"Dear present me, thank you for being brave enough to..."
Write from the perspective of yourself five or ten years in the future, looking back with gratitude and wisdom.
"Dear 2026 me, thank you for finally putting yourself first. Thank you for leaving the job that was killing your spirit. Thank you for taking the pottery class even though you felt silly. You have no idea how much joy is waiting for you..."
This one often makes people cry in the best way.
Write Your Own Obituary
Not morbid. Clarifying.
How do you want to be remembered? What do you want said about how you lived? This exercise cuts through everything superficial and gets to what actually matters.
Make a Personal Manifesto
Short punchy lines. Almost like poetry.
Use phrases like:
- I choose...
- I refuse...
- I believe...
- I create...
- I protect...
- I release...
I choose slow mornings
I refuse to shrink
I protect my peace
I create meaningful work
I trust my own timing
I release the need for approval
This becomes a living document you can return to.
Building Your Vision Statement
Once all of this exists, help yourself condense it into a simple vision statement. Something you can actually remember when life gets noisy.
Because the goal is not pretty language. It is a north star.
- Gather your answers. Look at what you wrote for each of the crafting prompts. Notice patterns, repeated words, themes that keep showing up.
- Identify your core themes. What 3-5 things matter most? Circle the words and phrases that create energy when you read them.
- Choose a format. Pick the style that matches your personality (see formats below).
- Write a first draft. Do not edit yourself. Let it be messy and too long.
- Refine and distill. Cut anything that sounds like what you "should" say. Keep only what feels true.
- Test it. Read it out loud. Does it give you chills? Does it feel like home? If not, keep refining.
- Live with it. Write it somewhere you will see it daily. Let it guide decisions for a month. Adjust as needed.
Vision Statement Formats
Choose the format that resonates with you. There is no wrong way to do this.
Final Thoughts
Identity is less about becoming someone new and more about excavating who was always there under decades of "should."
You are basically an archeologist with a flashlight and snacks.
The vision you create does not have to be permanent. It just has to be true for right now. You are allowed to revise it as you grow.
What matters is that you are steering. You are awake. You are choosing.
You are driving the bus.